Crumble
by chibi-emily
Summary: If only for a moment, one is forced to stop and wonder: was this truly worth it?


A note from the author:

I have no idea where this came from. I've played SotC several times over the past few years, never felt the urge to write before. And yet, suddenly, fingers began to type.

Initially, when I started typing, I was planning to start here and to go to the very end, but then... I came to the stopping point I reached here, and, well, I stopped. I'm not sure if I'd accomplish much more by continuing as opposed to leaving it here, succinct and unresolved. We'll see.

Anyway, I hope you guys like it. Feel free to share your thoughts.

* * *

"Almost done, boy." My hand ran over Agro's neck as we slowed down to a walk. I knew he must be tired. We had entered a clearing far to the south, as far into this cursed land as we had ventured. I admit… home felt very far away, not just in terms of distance. I'd lost track of how long I'd been in this place - breathing its air, eating its food. Cavorting with its inhabitants. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew my affairs with them were getting to me, and starting to show. It… did cross my mind, from time to time, to wonder. Trespassing on these lands, sneaking into the homes of these giants, murdering them as they slept. I was not so naive to trust Dormin completely, that shadowy voice that echoed down its desires. I knew full well, I may be doing something terrible. But it didn't matter. I had to save her; there was no other truth in my heart.

We came to a stop, and I slid down from my companion, easing his burden for a bit. We might have continued longer, but we had come to one of the altars that were spread throughout the land. They were beacons of restfulness and peace, and it soothed my heart to kneel and offer up my prayers, to whatever heavens could still hear me. I do not know who built these altars, but I am grateful to their makers. They have eased this journey well.

Agro nuzzled against my shoulder as I prayed, bringing a smile to my lips. Truly, I could not have made it so far without him. Hand reached out to caress over his snout after my prayer, and smile faded. I'd started noticing some time ago, patches of skin getting darker. And, not just darker, but veiny, sickly… inhuman, and I knew it. I doubted I would make it through this last battle in one piece. If I hadn't already been broken; it was hard to say.

Sighing, I stood and moved over to Agro's side to hoist myself up. It was a much more sobering motion, I realized, than it had been before she died. I used to mount my horse with anticipation of a carefree, if mischievous, jaunt, excitement building as a young boy celebrated the freedom of a ride. But after the incident… Every time my foot hit stirrup meant we were headed someplace darker than we already dwelled. Hand smoothed over Agro's neck again; I was sorry, to have dragged such a good steed so far from his home.

"C'mon, boy. Last time," reluctantly, I coaxed Agro to move, "I promise." For true, if I got to ride him again, it would be in the direction of home. My heart soared at the thought, but… I knew better than to hope.

Slowly, we plodded up the stone steps leading out of the small clearing. I held up my sword against the sun, just to make sure that this was the direction the light would lead us. I knew it was - even without the light, it seemed appropriate, to be venturing deeper into this mountain, farther and farther away from the bridge leading home. It felt a little like even its memory was being left behind. A relic of my past, I might never revisit.

At the top of the steps, Agro faltered. I thought for a moment something was wrong - Agro, were you hurt? - but in a moment he recovered. I supposed he must have been spooked by a bird flying overhead, casting an oddly shadow. I hadn't seen one, but… no other easy assumption jumped to mind. Soon we were turning the corner, and speeding up, ready to reach our final destination: looked like a temple, perhaps, up the cliff across the bridge we found before us. One way or another, this ordeal was just about done.

And yet, my gut quickly sank, as Agro's hooves hit stone, and the all-too-subtle sound of a crack hit our ears. He knew without my coaxing that he needed to run. I was frozen, clinging to my steed, senses entirely focused on the growing sound of crumbling stone behind us, making its way down the chasm and, too many seconds later, hitting the water below. I never knew, what a terrifying sound that could be. And, run though we might, it was growing closer and fiercer by the moment. Finally, my instincts woke up. "Agro!" My feet spurred against him, hands lashing at the reigns, voice full of more urgency and desperation than it had felt in a long while. Not here… not so close… to die now, falling helplessly at the farthest point from home… that sort of failure, my soul simply couldn't bear. Agro knew this. After the fact… I wish he had not.

With a sickening lurch, my horse came to a stop, throwing me from the saddle where I belonged. My body landed on firm concrete, bones cringing at the impact, and heart breaking at the dizzying sight of my beloved steed, falling. I scrambled to the edge of the concrete, watching helplessly as my companion flailed amongst the rubble, into the mist below. My lungs called out to him, as though they thought, somehow, their cries could float him back up. But he was gone. The rocks fell, the noise tumbled to an end, and I was alone in the silence of this place, the emptiness of it, sobbing over a pointless, forgotten bridge.

My soul wept. That precious girl was dead, and I had no guarantee that I could save her. My body was dying, or rotting, or just consuming my heart; I didn't know. I was tainted by my crimes, theft and murder and the rape of a holy land. The one companion who stood by my side, never wavering, I had just condemned to death, and for what? To get me here, trapped on this desolate mountain, so I could complete my wretched task. I did not know, the sort of beast for whom I slaughtered. But my soul was theirs now, my fate and her life resting in Dormin's hands. So, shaking, I stood. One final pain awaited me, calling to the sword at my side. There was nothing to be done but to complete it, myself and my wretchedness be damned.


End file.
